Mar 7, 2010


Oh no! What's that? A black panther? A Jaguar?

Oh. Just Dexter.

Like my girl Daisy here, I sometimes tend to be blinded by "worst case scenarios." Do you do this - think about the worst way a situation might work out, and then just hope/pray/beg it doesn't end up that bad?

I dated a guy once, who's motto was "expect the worst, but hope for the best."

I don't think I like "expecting the worst."

I used to get a lot of flack as a kid for being "a dreamer" or "starry eyed." I always saw the good in people and situations first. Sure, I got slammed a time or two, but I was a pretty optimistic kid regardless. Somewhere along the way though, I lost that. And I'm trying to find it again.

I want to think the best about people first. I want to be optimistic going into situations, insteading of merely hoping nothing goes wrong. I want to expect the best, and then perhaps (like a good little girl guide/scout) "be prepared" with a few emergency items in case things go bad.

I'd like to get that child-like optimism back. To joyfully go out into the world, expecting the best the world has to offer. It just seems like a better way to live.


Judith said...

I used to think I wanted to go back to that again... but sometimes knowing things, is better then not!

Anna said...

It is and is exactly how I view my world it is something that people aren't comfortable with. I always get strange responses/looks when I see the upside of situations that society dictates that the upside simply can't exist in..but it's there. Keep working on getting that back it makes a difference in your life and so many others because you will give them that chance that no one else would. :-)

Dede said...

I always go out there expecting the best in people. Just because one does wrong, doesn't make a bad world. There are far more good people in the world than bad. Wishing you a wonderful week! How is your site coming?


Jeanne said...

I have quite often been chided because of my 'Pollyanna' attitude. The 'eternal optimists' many would call me. I have always tried to look on the bright side of any & every situation. And yet 'Be Prepared' for the worst case scenario. (My Mom was a Girl Scout leader and after ten yrs as a Girl Scout, old habits are hard to break!)

Life is too short to not be happy. And there have been studies done that have shown that optimists live longer than pessimists.

But I have found through the years that being an optimist does have a down side - it seems that when a perpetually 'Sunny Personality' gets down in the dumps, it is extremely hard to pull one's self out of that dark hole. All those negative 'what ifs' come rushing down into that hole and bury the person.

But we must brush them all aside and climb back out & try to seek a comfortable middle ground where the positive & negative situations/thoughts in the world that crowd upon us, can balance each other out. (If there be such a place...)

We all deserve to be happy. Take time to enjoy the simple things - a beautiful sunrise, the joy of petting Dexter or Daisy. When we can once again marvel at the simple or mundane, then we can reclaim a bit of that child-like innocence and optimism.

Wishing you all the BEST in reclaiming what has been misplaced.


mxtodis123 said...

I always try to expect the best out of people. I try to be optimistic that all will work out well. Sometimes it backfires, but no one said life was going to be perfect. There are, however, a few instances in my life where I definitely felt a negative aura about someone I met...and never expected the best. In one case, I tried to warn everyone else, but they wouldn't listen...until it was too late.

Leathra said...

Hmm....Its not that I expect the best or the worst...after all, who is to say what is good or bad? Rather, I hope to expect the unexpected. If someone gives poor first impressions but improves upon further acquaintance, I will be pleasantly surprised--however, I will not expect them to have remained the same, but allow for them to change. This is quite a bit of challenge for me, and it will take time...but hopefully I can meet this goal.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I would quibble only a wee bit, Rue. I don't think it's a question of expecting the best OR the worst. It's best not to have pre-judged expectations. Just see what happens and assess the situation from the evidence. I have a similar attitude to your former boyfriend, but with the crucial difference that mine is not based on expectations. I think it is wise to PREPARE for the worst, but to HOPE for the best. Preparation is not the same as expectation. Expectation implies fate, which I don't think is pre-ordained.

Beth said...

I am much like 'Debra She Who Seeks'...I always give people the benefit of the doubt, but in general life situations I hope for the best but prepare for the worst :).
I do wish I could be a little more optimistic though!!

Ryan Sutton said...

I've found you usually get what you're looking for. Our brains are filters of chaos, and if we tune the filter to the negative, that is what gets through. It also fits in well with magical intent. We manifest what we envision. EVERY DAY. Sometimes we consciously do it in a circle, but we do it daily too without even thinking about it. Focus on the good, and you'll find and manifest more good. =)

Mother's Moon's Message said...

I think I have to agree with Ryan... I myself have been a optimist since I can remember and there have been those who I know my perkyness has driven crazy, yet it has gotten me through many a down time. If we look for the negative or expect it, eventually it will find us because that is what we are focusing our thoughts on.

In some cases there can be goodness all around yet we can choose to see only the one little speck of dispare that lies hidden underneath all the wonder. Life could always be worse no matter how bad it may get.

Kekibird said...

I'm totally a worse case scenario person. I think it comes from my fear of being surprised. I'd rather think on the negative, dream of the catostrophic, and expect the worst then be surprised by it.

It may sound like I'm a Debbie Downer but I think I'm just very cautious. I can be positive and strongly optimistic about some things. Otherwise, I'm at the worst of the worst.

the wild magnolia said...

There is a magical way children see life. It is tarnished as we live among the "hooman" race. Wanting to recover that magic is a splendid desire.

The same person, who was a "pretty optimistic kid regardless", may find her optimism is still intact. Peel back the layers of life and see if it not so.

Assuredly it is more difficult but not impossible to see again through a childs eyes. Worth the effort, you betcha'.

The Wizardess epi said...

I think we should seek joy & be prepared for joy. But of course, that's not always what we encounter. I've been reading Shirley MacLaine's spiritual search memoir (on Chris Penczak's rec)and it has made past lives seem more plausible to me, and since we do live on, and we've done many of these things before, why not simply be open & ready to learn from whatever this life presents to us? I think I'm on the open childlike side here :)

The Wizardess epi said...

And your Daisy looks like my old kitty, Friskie.

Corrin said...

i think it is really interesting and awesome that you decided to post about this subject ! i can totally relate and i am very honestly moved that you were brave enough to admit that to lots of people who you may or may not know ! - anyway ! i am reading this great book "the mysteries of the dark moon" perhaps you've read it, and the author talks about the cycles of the moon and the cycles of a persons life, and i think that it parlays really nicely to what you are feeling - and how i am feeling. its easy to get a little lost in this cynical place but later you wonder what the hell you were thinking, like " this isn't me, or i really should not have said that". but i think in realizing this stuff is the key to the path out of it. so the cycle we are in now is a bit dark, but like every good person who is conscious of there dark cycles and light cycles - its probably just the conduit from being confined and weak minded - to being truly open and respectful while retaining that beautiful pure love for all the things and people around you. in essence your a new moon right now, reflecting on what needs work and nurturing what you know is right. and so when that seed sprouts and blooms your going to be better, even though you had a time of roughness or hibernation.


TMC said...

DEFINITELY. I could use some wonderment too.

Dia said...

What a lovely post! & thanks for your comment over at 'the Vale :) It was nice to have someone say 'at least you try to talk with them (religion 'sales folk)

I liked D's comment on light & dark - I took a couple of workshops with the 'Mysteries . . . ' author, Demetra George, paired up with Vicky Noble (she designed the round 'Mother Peace Tarot' deck - great deck!!)
What a duo!!
A lot of the material was the same (about a year apart - the workshops were at the Retreat n Confr. center where I was on the Healing Arts team) . . . so I enjoyed the first more.
Demetra talked about personal moon phase - where it was when you were born, & mine was just past full, in the 'disseminating' phase - I tend to 'gather' (full moon) & want to share (disseminate) info! Yep
We split into 'moon phase' groups, & shared stories of how that fit, or if it didn't seem to, & we did lovely healing rituals!!
A few years later, I met my small 'moon' group leader at the coast, & had an astrology reading with her - turns out SEVERAL of my planets are in that disseminating position in relation to another planet!
Cycles, phases, balance

Ange said...

Hi Rue,
Sorry I didn't comment on this before ... YOu know, I was a naturally optimistic kid like you. I can tell you, that after spending 15 years in France where optimism is not part of the local customs - I don't long for my childhood years but for my own culture sometimes. Remember all the great explorers of the world - they were not just optimistic, but believed in the best and followed their calling for adventure. I

I was brought up 'if you think you can, and you think you can't, you're right!!' This isn't childish thinking, it's grown up. It's the work you put into something that makes it so. Now - knowing your competition, or understanding your market doesn't mean seeing everything in black.
But I would say that, for your business to really WORK, or anything for that matter, you must 'see it working' first. Then everything else will fall into place. Keep the optimism Rue - those without it never go far...

Nydia said...

I can only be an optimistc... I've always been like that and I do love being alive, so I tend to try seeing the best of situations too, bad as they are sometimes... I do hope you find it back within, it's like carrying a secret sun.

Kisses from Nydia.

Bridgett said...

You can do it, Jen. I'm pulling for ya, over here in the World of Optimism. :)