A Brief Note on Supporting Ourselves and Supporting Each Other

The world has changed. For now. And likely, in some ways, for always. There is no right thing to say at this moment. No perfect phrasing, no prose that will settle on everyone's shoulders like a warm embrace. We are going to mess this up - this distanced communing and communicating with each other - because we aren't flawless, graceful creatures at all times, and everyone needs/wants different kinds of connection. We are likely going to say something that doesn't jive with what someone else thinks or believes. We may get testy after being corralled together (or alone) for an indefinite length of time. Mostly, though, I think we are going to help each other, and love each other, and do the best we can. I believe in us.

In a perfect world everyone would be provided for. No one would worry about feeding or clothing themselves and no one would wonder if they could pay their rent, utilities, healthcare, or monthly expenses. But we don't live in a perfect world, and people are concerned about how they will survive. (We've always been concerned, but now things seem much more dire.) People are going to be asking for help. They are going to be offering up what they have or what they do, as a way to provide for themselves. They will be trying to save their business, their livelihood, or attempting to bring in some money to help at this stressful time.

When someone asks for help, or promotes their business online, or shines a light on their accomplishments, or posts their fundraising links on social media, please don't shame them. Don't say "too soon," or assume they have the worst motives. Most folks are going into a time of massive uncertainty surrounding their lives and incomes, and sharing ways that you can support them isn't the same as trying to profit off a pandemic. Some folks won't be as eloquent as you would like. They may make mistakes, or misspeak in their attempt to communicate. Allow people some extra wiggle room. Be patient.

There are those who will try to take advantage, be dishonest, hoard and then price gouge, or outright steal. These people have always been out there (and there is a huge discussion here that is so necessary, about privilege, access to physical/mental health care, housing, and community care, that I don't have the space to even scratch the surface of) and we do our best to be aware of those situations. If someone seems to be taking unfair advantage, or preying on other's fears, then you can report their posts, or perhaps reach out to them if you are able to kindly offer them some help on how to steer their efforts to maintain their income in a more appropriate manner.

Please don't demonize those who are attempting to keep their existing online businesses afloat, or who are now moving their storefront to an online or a more easy, safe, accessible model. I've been seeing this happen on social media in the last few days and it's very disheartening (the wondrous Britton posted a story about this topic on Instagram as well). Please don't shame the people who will begin to post fundraising links, or who start up sites to sell what they make or offer a service they provide, so they can meet their needs. Support who you can, if you wish, or share their links if you feel moved to.

If you feel overwhelmed (and so many of us do) then pace yourself, take time off-line, feed yourself and your family, move your body, breathe. Help yourself stay safe, strong, and at peace, and then you will be able to more greatly help others.

There are so many people sharing helpful information that it can make you feel dizzy trying to keep up. I'll start attaching some of the articles I've had the chance to read in the past few days, that made me feel hopeful, and some of the ways I've been keeping well. Pop in and read them if you choose, when you have time. My brilliant friend Briana Saussy likes to quote Fred Rogers, and I could not agree more at this time:

Look for the helpers

And I would like to add, be one of the helpers. When, and if you can.

I'll say it again...I believe in us. Hang in. Hang on. Reach out. We've got each other. We can do this.

Briana has a free, ongoing, healing and protection ceremony that you can join.

Rebecca Altman of Wonder Botanica has a free class that just started called "Surrender + Magic."

Joanna Powell Colbert, of the Gaian Tarot and the Herbcrafter's Tarot, posted a beautiful love letter about how she is caring for herself and others.

My favourite local studio is offering free, online fitness and yoga classes three times a day via Facebook.

I'll add more links in time here, but I wanted to start you off in few good places...

(All photos on this post are from my recent walk to gather poplar buds - you can read about poplar and its magic here.)

Pizza for a Kinder Mind

I'm feeling raw and broken-open, of late. It's okay. It's part of being human - being me. I've grown, and have developed healthy ways of softening and easing the panic or despair that rises from my gut and tries to squeeze my chest, lungs, heart. I like this being older. This feeling of still being a feral girl (which is how I feel every day if I don't look too long in the mirror), but having the benefit of experience and whatever small amounts of confidence I've mustered up over the years.

My brain isn't always a friend. It brings up old stories sometimes. It says "they don't like you," or "you'll never fit in," or "your best isn't good enough." It says "that thing you did fifteen years ago is shameful and you should still feel awful about it. Remember. Remember all those mistakes. All those times you should have done better. You should have been better."

Several years ago I began treating that voice like a frightened child. A shivering animal. Talking kindly to it. "Yes, yes, love. I know. You're safe. Shhh." When it won't quiet down, I go for a walk, or go out to the garden, or drive along the lake, or bake something that reminds me of my grandmother.

I'm in love with the scent of yeast. The feeling of dough stretching out and softening between my palms as I knead, makes me soon. Whirling around in the kitchen in the late afternoon while sunlight and sweet breezes dance through the window, is one of my favourite ways to unwind. I speak blessings to the dough, sing or chant to it, and as I go through the ritual of pressing and folding I find that my tension, fear, or anxiety slips away.

I don't purposely set out to eat wheat anymore (when I do bake it’s more often with gluten-free blends or a wheat & grain free ‘flour’) though it finds its way into my world from time to time. The sexy coupling of yeast and wheat is singular - nothing else really smells or feels like it. Sometimes it’s just the only thing I want.

This ridiculously easy thin crust pizza dough is what I've been playing with lately. ‘Pizza for a Kinder Mind’ is a movement I could happily start. Do you have your own tricks to lower the volume of a shit-talking brain? What things happily derail a train of not-so-helpful thoughts, for you?

Quick and Easy Thin Pizza Crust

1 teaspoon of traditional yeast

pinch of sugar

3/4 cup of warm water

1 and 3/4 cups of flour

a pinch of salt

- add the yeast and sugar to the warm water and wait 5 minutes or so for bubbles

- place flour and salt in a bowl, add yeast-water mixture and toss with a fork

- turn out onto floured surface and knead for 5-10 minutes, adding more flour if too sticky

- press dough into a non-stick or greased pan, top with your fave ingredients, bake at 450 for 10-13 minutes

The Delight of Decay on an October Eve

I moved my coffee mug around my desk all day, placing it so that it captured the late September sunlight that crept out between the rains. I didn't just want the caffeine this day. I wanted the golden light filling me, the blessedly cool air flowing over me, and the clicking and barking of the crows by the river echoing through my bones. There is no stopping the flood current of autumn now and I for one am wading out into the incoming tide, delirious under flame-leafed trees and the wanton scent of the land as it begins turn toward decay.

I am ready for this time of year. I am welcoming the picturesque death and rot. I wore my nerves thin on heat and smoke and wildfires this summer. Now I'm reveling in ridiculous gourds, tomatoes flaunting their multicoloured heirloom-ness, and the haunting songs of geese flying overhead. Dress me in apples and call me Pomona.

If you've been around Rue and Hyssop in the early autumn you'll know that there's a foolish amount of fun that unfolds each year in the month of October. I've grown a small garden here in the blog-verse over the past nine years and I like to share my harvest with those that stroll by my neck of the woods. When I'm out wandering and I pick up something that makes me especially happy, I grab an extra copy for one of you. I also encounter wondrous creatures who create enchantment and wish to share it, and I'm lucky enough to get to pass those gifts on to you too.

There has been, in the past three years especially, a moment's pause whenever October approaches. There is a part of me that wonders if this conviviality that I throw myself into is appropriate in a world where there is so much unrest, pain, and political and social discontent. There are protests to attend, politicians to contact, and injustices to call out. I believe in those things, in standing up, in caring for each other, in saying "no more." I also believe that sometimes we could really use some peace, some joy, a friendly moment with another human with no expectations.

I'd like to think that the October silliness I engage in each year gives folks something small to grin about. I hope that it introduces people to authors and artists they may not have stumbled across. I know that the people that get something cool in their mailbox from the festivities aren't unhappy they came by to toss their name in the hat, and I am always tired-but-smiling at the end of the month. So I think that until it feels really off-colour to pass along some joy each October I'm going to continue doing it as long as I am able (which I hope is a long time). This blog, even in its quieter state the past few years, has been a true delight for me. I've met wonderful people, made incredible friends, and grown my strange, thorny heart so many sizes since beginning this journey.

For those who know the routine by now, grab a cup of your favourite autumn-spiced beverage and put your feet up. If you are new around here, welcome. It's easy to get the hang of things, and everyone is very friendly. (Mind the one grumpy cat though. She blows raspberries instead of hissing but she will still swat at you if you get too close.)

Can you feel the excitement as the last hours of September slip away? Have you caught the intoxicating scents of woodsmoke, ripe apples, or the slow withering of the final summer flowers?

Let's do this October thing again.

PS - if you are not into giveaways then I'll catch you in November - no worries. I'd like to say that I'll drop off a bewitching autumn post here for your reading pleasure but this month is also the beginning of a big work project for me each year, so I won't make any promises I can't keep.

PPS - Rebecca from Kings Road Apothecary sent out a very helpful post, Self Care in Triggering Times that is brimming with ideas to ease your heart and body in these days of troubling news and media. If you are having a difficult time, please take care of yourself, call a friend, and/or ask for help.