Mild January Movement

The snow has melted here, low in the valley.  You don't have to go far to find it again, but for now, we are content with ice and sometimes mud on warmer days.  The only downside about the snow being gone is that it kept the landscape bright, even on the cloudy days.  Now, as the temperature does its up and down dance, is when we have the low cloud settle in.  So low some days, you feel as though you can almost touch it.  The mornings never brighten, the afternoons seem like eternal twilight, and the nights arrive early and linger.  It seems as though we are revisiting the days before the solstice.  It is the way of the valley, especially my little town between the lakes, shaped like the smallest part of an hour-glass.  Further to the north and south, the valley opens up and the clouds lift, but here in the hollow, we'll be having a strange sort of whirl with mist and fog for several weeks.

It can bring you low, this fog.

I've been faring well, or at least satisfactorily, having avoided all colds and flu bugs going around, and working my way through the grasping claws of winter melancholy.  I've made it a priority to move everyday, in one way or another (outside whenever possible) and it's a proven mood lift.  I've discovered a fitness studio with wonderful yoga classes in the next town and my body is thankful for the deep stretching it has been missing.

I've found that this year, people seem more willing to share their struggles.  I've read articles, and had so many people talk to me about their wrestle with January and their frustration, foggy-thinking, lack of motivation, resistance to resolutions, desire to hibernate, and even their battles with despair.  There is small comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one who rows against these winter waves.

I keep to my practices to stay above water.  I plan outings, to shake up the endless cold days of same-ness. And I take comfort in the wise words of others.

Here is what is moving me today:

Crystal Blanton (and friends) talk New Year's resolutions on The Wild Hunt.

Louis CK talks about embracing the sad moments (and putting the cell phone down.)

Jessica finds out that sometimes, there are no lessons.

When You Need to Tackle Your Frost Giants

The new year has come in like a...well, like a Polar Vortex, really. 

January is its own special kind of vortex for me - it always has been.  I get completely drawn in to the idea that we have an entirely fresh start, but then get looking at the list of things that did not get accomplished last year or how I'm not where I thought I might be, and I start to spin. Add to that, the perpetual, deep cloud cover here in the south end of the valley, the low fog, the long hours of low light, even with the growing sun, and things begin to slide sideways in my happy little existence.

This is when I'm glad that I have more than just small bottles of booze in my toolbox.

In the old days, before magic found me, I spent long hours hiding in my house, cursing the weather beyond my window.  I used to sniffle my way through really bad romantic comedies, all the while telling myself that if that girl could change her life (in two hours, with an amazing make-up crew, and the super-cute boy next door, who we're supposed to believe she never noticed before,) then so could I, dammit!  

The thing is, there is rarely a Mark Darcy standing around waiting to tell you that he likes you "just as you are." Instead, in January, there are multitudes of people telling you "here's how you can change everything about yourself so people will like you - for just $49.99 a month!"  In this first week of the year, I've stopped counting at 30 emails from people/companies wanting to sell me some way to make my life better.

For the record, I'm not opposed to self-improvement via courses, gym memberships, weight-loss programs, or salsa lessons.  If you are the type of person that wants/needs structure, accountability, group or partnered plans of attack to work toward your goals, then I'd say absolutely - check out some classes/memberships and see what fits. What I'm opposed to, is the timing and volume of the ads, and the general feeling running through many of them that you aren't okay unless you sign up for their version of improvement, and that 2014 might just be the 9th circle of hell for you if you don't sign up immediately.  

What I'm looking for this time of year is not another reminder of how I don't measure up, but a good scrubbing of everything that isn't making me feel good - including the "only we can help you like yourself more" emails.

The first thing I do is hit "delete" - repeatedly. 

After that, I turn to my own body and check in.  Your body can tell you everything you need to know.  Unless you've been ignoring it for years and then, you've got some catching up to do. Your body will tell you what it wants more of (chocolate seems like the right answer, but in this case it's probably not.)  Water, sleep, meditation, movement, protein, laughter, sex - the answers are there.  Personal trainers are great, but you have the capacity and the know-how to design your own destiny.  

I trace back any uneasy feelings to their source, by continuing to ask "where is this coming from?"  Then I pull out my toolkit. I take baths, annoint myself with oils, meditate, speak with my ancestors/gods/guides, do some sympathetic magic for what I'm after (even if it's simply to feel better or lessen my winter blues,) and then decide on a practical plan of attack.  It's not a quick fix.  The meditation, bath and some good digging into what is going on in my mad little brain, can be pretty instant relief.  But for a longer than an evening session of anxiety-easing or life-changing, you've got to follow up with some action.

Kick the winter blues to the curb.*  Burn the weight-loss program ads in the fireplace.  Ask your body what it wants, and listen.  Then do the work yourself, kindly and introspectively at first, then with a good handful of magic, then bust some actual ass - on your terms.

- Some info on  spiritual cleansing from the fabulous Bri Sassy: "So Fresh and So Clean.."

- An in-depth post on candle work from Candlesmoke Chapel: "Putting The Work In..."

- A wonderful list of items you can use for magical aid, right in your cupboard, by Sarah Anne Lawless:  "Pantry Folk Magic..."

*I am, of course, speaking of low-level "blues" here and not suggesting that those with serious depression or anxiety can just wash it away with a bath.  Please see a health care professional for any severe issues.

Tis the Season to be Having Uncomfortable Family Gatherings and Awkward Conversation

The holidays can be a strange time.  Families who may not see each other much throughout the year often come together en masse, and that can be joyful and heartwarming, or terrifyingly uncomfortable. And that's even before the conversations and questions begin. The movies would have us believe that all the discomfort is temporary - just long enough to have some good laughs at the Griswolds, or those nutty folks who left their kid home alone - but holiday reality sometimes feels more like "The Shining."

For those whose homes are not turning into a holiday encampment for familial guests, fortunately "family" is an inclusive term.  We may have our own family unit - a partner, children - or we've developed a network of friends that are like family that we can celebrate with.  Should you find yourself completely alone during the holidays for some reason, and not wanting to remain so, many cities host dinner events or even full travel packages for people who have no other holiday plans.  And if you are wanting to lend a hand, of course there will be many places that would appreciate a volunteer at this time of year.

For the rest of us, who bite their tongue while pouring the wine, and who take the jabs while wearing the paper crown from the Christmas cracker, and who try to find a polite way to answer all the well-meaning-but-inappropriate questions, I want to share my little list of things I do to ensure I survive the holidays.

Holiday Helpers To Prevent You From Cowering in a Closet With a Bottle of Bailey's During Christmas Dinner or Drunkenly Serenading Yourself in a Bathtub (Alone) Like Bridget Jones.
(Working Title)

1.  Have a backup plan.  Always.  Find a friend who knows your situation and let them know that if they see you with your nose pressed up against their window like an old-timey English street urchin, they are to let you in and pass the turkey, and act like nothing happened.

1a. If you don't have friends or alternate family in the area, make like that millionaire show and have a phone-a-friend on standby.  Someone who will talk you down from taking a piece of your aunt's hair and creating a poppet with it and some turkey bones, and then burning it in the bathtub.

2.  Don't be too proud (or ashamed) to let someone in on your holiday concerns.  Tell a good friend (see #1) or a good therapist.  If you have a family member you trust, share with them.  You may end up with an ally across the dinner table.

3.  Do something nice for yourself immediately before and after the holidays.  This is a crucial step - and I recommend booking your appointment now, because I can guarantee that plenty of folks are doing this.  Get yourself a massage, take yourself out to a fancy dinner, buy yourself the holiday gift you want and are sure no one will buy you (with gift receipt, just in case) or whatever else will make you feel really special.  The "before" present is to remind you that you deserve to be treated well, and to give you a bit of holiday hope, and the "after" treat is the reward for not stabbing anyone with a candy cane.  Yay!

4.  Consider donating your time and/or money anyway.  Even if you aren't alone for the holidays and looking for some meaning, find a cause you can contribute to.  It is important all year long to be aware of who needs help in your community, but this time of year can be especially hard on folks who cannot afford to feed, house, or give gifts to their children, let alone provide them with any kind of holiday cheer.  Local food banks accept donations, food, and manual help.  Our little credit union has a "pajama tree" up, where you take one of the ornament cards with a child's gender and age listed on it, and return the card with a pair of appropriate pj's.  There are so many places that are accepting help - finding somewhere to volunteer this time of year shouldn't be a problem at all.

5.  Try to find something to laugh about - or some kind of wonder or joy.  Make a snow angel.  Watch the sky for Santa.  Invent a new drink called "The Steaming Hot Mistletoe Kiss." You can think of something.

We're in for a wild month.  Hang in there. I know you can do it.

*picture via wiki commons

It's Called January

My friend asked me the other day, "what's it called when you are tired all the time and cold all the time and can barely drag your ass to work?"

"It's called January," I said.

This year, January has been fairly painless so far.  Last year I was drinking herbal infusions as if my life depended on it - because it mostly did.  This year, the grey hasn't gotten to me.  But the cold is another story.  I've grown weary of bitterly cold days with colder winds.  I feel as though I'm constantly trying to keep warm - and failing.  

In order to attempt some venturing out (other than to the office,) I've given myself little gifts of "me time."  So far I've taken a drive up into the hills, had a spa day with my mom, built a fire in my fire bowl, and made an effort to walk whenever there wasn't a danger of losing toes and fingers to frostbite.

The view from the R & R room at the spa - waiting for my toes to dry.

The other item on my "ME ME ME" list (Dear Ones, you need a list like this - you're worth it,) is signing up for free seminars and adding my name to a handful of email lists on those "Rah Rah, You Are Amazing" sites.  Self-help has come a long way, baby.  What once was a fairly bland, extreme navel-gazing type industry, has blossomed into a powerful, encouraging network of amazing women (and men) who have a real passion for seeing others live fabulous, fulfilling lives.

Here is a sampling of what I'm reading, trying on for size and diving into:
(Links are attached to the person/website's name - just click.)

I mentioned her in my last post, and I'm sure you've heard her name on the interwebs, but I'll say it again - Leonie Dawson.  Her workbooks are wonderful.  I'm working my way through them and loving them!

Denise Duffield-Thomas talks about manifesting your own luck in business and your life's purpose.  She wrote the book "Lucky Bitch" and has a free webinar coming up.  Her blog is full of great posts and worth a read.

Bri Saussy of Milagro Roots is beginning her free Phone Fests this month with "how to draw the best life has to offer, to yourself."  She has a myriad of magical services she offers as well.

Wild Sister is a website and magazine by women for women to inspire you to "love yourself, follow your bliss and change the world."  There are wonderful and encouraging posts to read whether you subscribe to the magazine or not.

Jennifer Louden is the woman and author behind "Savour and Serve." Tips on self care, organization and being your true self abound on this site.  I've only just scratched the surface here, but it looks great!

Anne Samoilov teaches how to re-launch your business/website/idea.  Work on your goal setting, enlist the help of a team, and get a free copy of her "toolkit" full of templates and tutorials.

(Please note: I am not affiliated with any of these sites, nor have I been asked to advertise for them in any way.)

These are just a few of the ways I'm distracting myself from the cold January days.  I'm still garden-planning too, and dreaming of the earth waking up. But I know that this hibernation period is healthy for the earth - if not slightly uncomfortable for some of the rest of us.  I'm taking this slower time of the year to plan my big dive in to the rest of 2013.  I plan on making a splash!

How is this month shaping up for you?

Hide and Sweep

Happy first week of January!  Or as I like to call it, "the time of year the Valley gets cold and dark and I struggle to function at a semi-normal level and not just hide for a month."

If you've read my blog for any length of time, you'll know that January is tough month for me.  While December brings small joys with the bustle and holiday insanity, January is quiet and cold.  The wind whistles against the windows, and although we know that the light is returning, we still wake to darkness and the sun seems to ride too swiftly through the sky.

While I work on my wellness this Winter, it's important for me to remember that my energy has seasons too.  January and July will never be my peak months.  Giving myself a break, and realizing I don't have to be a perpetually bubbly ray of sunshine who magically gets all things done in perfect time with poise, is my mantra for the month.  (Yes. It is a rather long mantra.)

Instead of tackling new projects when my creativity is low, I'm using my little energy in other ways.  Organizing, going through my clothes and giving away those that I just don't wear anymore, cleaning the forgotten places (the top of the refrigerator, behind the desk,) are all small ways of making space for new energy to flow.  So when inspiration does hit, I'll have whatever I need at my fingertips and be ready to go!

The above photograph of Dexter hiding in the Maiden's Grass was taken two days ago.  The weather here in Southern British Columbia has been stunningly mild for this time of year.  New grass is coming up, buds are plumping on the trees, and I have a few little lettuce seedlings coming up in the garden (we had a hot spell last Spring after the rains and my lettuce bolted and must have left seeds behind.)  Although it snowed last night, the forecast is for more mild weather. 

With the weather so forgiving this Winter, I'm hoping my hiding spell will be short.  I'll endeavour to pop in as much as possible, but if my blogging falls short this month, you'll know why.  Thanks in advance, as always, for your amazing support!

Welcoming Workspace

My bookkeeping office is in a small corner of a production building, where lovely chocolates are packaged and sent a few blocks over to a gourmet food and gift shop to sell.  I have a good sized desk but it is in a corner facing a wall, and there is minimal outside light that gets in.

There are also two other desks in this space, that are in use whenever the store owner and the other managers are around.  The production manager and other store employees float through from time to time as well, so there is sometimes a good deal of energy in an otherwise small space.  And it goes without saying that sometimes that energy isn't all sunshine and rainbows.

In order to keep myself happy and focused in a small space and the energy surrounding me conducive to work and sanity, I employ a few easy tricks.

A good start is to make sure that your space has a welcoming scent.  You cannot help if you work in a building that pumps in recycled air or your co-worker doesn't use enough deodorant, but you can place a small scented candle on your desk (whether you are allowed to light it or not - they smell lovely) or find a lightly scented spray for your space.

I have a bottle of lavender spray from a local lavender farm beside my computer and give it a few spritzes when I come in.  It smells nice, is organic and safe to use on surfaces.  It adds a calming scent to the area and gives a little protection from any lower energy that someone might bring into my space.

If you have animals at your workplace, please be sure that you choose safe items that will not be ingested by visiting pets.

Speaking of family - furry or otherwise - having some photos of loved ones always brightens up a space.  I have a small wall space above my desk that I've turned into a mural of photos of my neices, pets and friends' kids. Some of my co-workers have brought me pictures of their kids and grandkids to put on the wall too.

Also on my desk are a few crystals on my computer, chosen for clarity, peace of mind and to absorb any lower energies that I don't want in my space.  I'm allowed to have a tealight-sized candle burning, so I made sure that my candle is working for me double-time and I put it in a salt rock candle holder.  Salt-rock releases negative ions when heated to combat the positive ions that surround electronic equipment like computers.

On days like today, when I'm headed into a meeting and it's bound to be a bit stressful (working with the accountant always gets my back up) I make sure to wear something that makes me feel strong.  A great outfit, a comforting crystal in the pocket or a piece of jewelery that makes me feel confident.

This silver stag horn is one of my go-to peices when I need some strength.

And once the day (or the stressful meeting) is over, I try to connect with a good friend or family.  Today I've pre-planned a lunch date with four of my closest friends - just in case I really need one of these:

 

Holy Hibernation Batman!

This was the view out the window of my car a few days ago.  It may explain why I've been hiding for the first 10 days of this year.  Although the snow has mostly melted (and turned to ice) I'm still having a hard time getting motivated and getting out of the house. 

I'm a natural hibernator you see.  While others rush out into the snow to ski and board and snowshoe and skate, I curl up on the couch in front of my electric fireplace and read books and make plans about how I'm going to be very productive...tomorrow.  (Naturally - as I'm typing this - it's beginning to snow again.)

Although I don't try to force myself to feel jovial about the Winter months - I do make an effort to find ways to incorporate some activity and projects to offset my hibernation tendencies.

When the weather is conducive to a walk - I still take my stroll by the river.  The wind-chill has been a bit much lately, but I've was able to get out twice last week.  While walking I make an effort to notice the trees, plants and nature around me and remind myself of the necessity of the plants being able to turn inward and store up new energy for the Spring.  I've also been treated to the sight of eagles & osprey fishing and some very pregnant horses in the field beside the river - another promise of new life.

Making lunch, dinner or coffee dates with friends is another way I ensure that I get out into the world this time of year.  It's a bit too easy to go from work, straight home and bunker in for the night.  Making time to get together with friends is a double-perk.  I get out of the house or office and I get a laugh with a pal.

Being supportive is a great motivator too.  A friend told me yesterday that her daughter is going to be in a public spelling bee.  Without thinking I said "please let me know when it is, and I'll come."  I also attended a choral concert in December and have plans to see a gymnastics competition soon - all because people I know are involved.  Are they activities I'm personally interested in taking part in - not really.  But I can get out and support my friends and their kids and spend a little less time hiding indoors.

Do you find that you tend to hibernate this time of year?  What do you do to get out in the world when you'd rather be inside?

Finding My Sanity...And Then Keeping It

Nonresistance, nonjudgement, and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living. ....Page 225 "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle

I'm having a bit of a hard time with non-attachment and the like, since mopping up an entire bucket of water off the brand new flooring in my suite. The snow has been melting rapidly here and the downspout couldn't handle the pressure. It gave way and the water went directly down the side of the house, into the earth, and aparently through a weak spot in the cement into my basement suite.

I've fixed the downspout and rid myself of the water, and have been blasting the spot with a space heater, hoping to dry out the flooring and be left with minimal damage. Regardless, my brother - the landlord - is in for a treat when he gets back from Mexico next week. He's going to have to dig down into the lawn at the side of the house to find the weak spot and fix it so I don't have the same problem when the Spring rains come.

In the meantime, to prevent myself from thinking about the work ahead of me while still only part-way into this move, and buying a business, and doing year-end at my bookkeeping job, I've been distracting myself by:

*Reading up on Groundhog Day, and those thousands of crazy people who make the trek up to Gobbler's Knob in Punxsutawney, PA each year to see if Phil can stave off 6 more weeks of Winter. Crazy or not - this is something I'd like to do.

*Eating Tim Hortons' doughnut of the month - the Caramel Apple Fritter.

*Drooling over Sylar now that Heroes has returned. (I know, the show is going the way of Lost - strange and incoherent - but I can't get enough of Sylar. Maybe they'll spin him off to his own show "Eyebrows and Mayhem.")

*Cuddling with my kitties and wishing for sunshine and Spring.

I'll get there....